DISCLAIMER: I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR ANYTHING OFFENSIVE. SOMETIMES I'M JUST OFFENSIVE, I DON'T DO IT ON PURPOSE BECAUSE I DON'T HATE ANY OF YOU. I'VE GOT NOT AGAINST YOU - IT JUST SLIPS OUT. THESE ARE *MY* WORDS/OPINIONS/RANDOM MUSINGS AND AS MUCH AS I WANT YOU TO LIKE ME, NOT EVERYONE DOES.
One of my biggest passions is Broadway shows, something inherited from my mother. My Dad took her to see A Chorus Line and then to dinner at Sardi's for an anniversary- super classy. So has anyone seen a little Tony Award winning show called Avenue Q?
Full disclosure: I am a white, Jewish girl from the suburbs and when I was younger, I wanted to be black. (Can I say that? African-American perhaps?) My neighbors and closest friends until well into elementary school were African-American. At Hanukkah, my mom got me and my sister the exact same dolls and she had to go back to the store and get me the black Barbie. My parents, I'm proud to say, totally didn't care. They wanted me to be happy and didn't care what was floating my boat. Other family members are not so... open. Let's just say being white and Jewish is enough to pass universal muster in the household.
It wasn't till I was older and was taught that I didn't want to walk down certain streets at night, and was made aware of certain stereotypes that I began to look at certain people differently. I don't like it, and sometimes it makes me angry, but I do sometimes look at people differently. People look at me differently, and honestly some things like affirmative action piss me off. Pardon me, I'm so sorry but my white privilege is showing.
And now I feel like a horrible person.
Getting back to topic, I answered all the questions on eHarmony, and I was getting a lot of similar names - think Ray/Roy, Jim/Tim, etc. Most surprising to me is that a lot of my matches are Asian and Muslim. Until this point I've only ever dated white Jewish or catholic guys. I've never been forced to imagine how my family would react to meeting Sunil, Karim, Zhuan, Lihn or Khalid. For all I know, one of them is THE ONE so I've responded to everyone who expressed interest. I give them all a fair chance until I just can't anymore. Sometimes they seem upset that I currently have no plans to go to grad school. (block match) Sometimes they have an overwhelming victim mentality (block match) And sometimes they don't like animals. (WHAT PART OF MUST LOVE DOGS CONFUSED YOU?)
I'm also forced to think about would I date someone younger than me. You're 22. WTF are you doing on a dating website. Shouldn't you be taking finals? Plus then I start to wonder- Is this really who I'm being matched with? Or are there just an extraordinarily large amount of young asians on eharmony? I don't know if anyone has any experience with eHarmony in particular, but they send you an email with the 6 matches of the day. After a while you start to feel like they aren't actually matches, but just 6 more names being flung at you like a lifesaver so you can cling to one and feel like you aren't a completely disgusting person that no one will ever find attractive.
Have I mentioned that I tend to over think things? I have to keep it simple and go back to the basics.
I know things that I look for in a guy:
*Sense of humor
*Personality
*Job
*Car
*Apartment? (not a deal breaker)
*Nice arms? Accent? (huge points)
*Must love Dante's Peak, The Matrix, dogs
Turn offs
-Smoker
-drugs
-unemployment
-facial tattoos
-bad grammar
-thinks with his penis
-looks down on my shows (MUST LOVE SUPERNATURAL AND DOCTOR WHO!)
-hates animals
Personally, don't think I'm at a point in my life where I'd date a guy fresh out of college or practically middle aged. I'd feel like I was robbing a cradle or dating my dad. The religion thing is still a little scarier. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to be open-minded about dating outside of my white suburban circle of comfort.
Please feel free to comment! Would you date someone outside of your race/ethnicity/religion? Any stories about doing so? How about age? Has anybody robbed the cradle or found a sugar daddy? Let me know! Sharing is caring!
Just please- don't call me a racist. I'm just honestly curious; there is no need to be an asshole.
Personally, i think people are just people. You need enough things in common to maintain a relationship but if they had everything you wanted but happened to be a different race, religion, or age, i don't think it should be a deal breaker. I dated the too old for me african guy in college and the race and background differences were not that big of of deal but the age difference kinda was because we wanted different things. Anyways,ultimately, i think that having common interests and compatible personalities is more important than race or religion. And age can matter, but i wouldn't just dismiss someone for it if they have many of the other things you want.
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