I CANNOT DATE MY DAD.

I can't believe I went almost a whole month without updating. Jessi was not kidding. It takes a lot of time and effort to put together a decent blog. I don't know how Brittany Gibbons does it, because I adore everything she says. And J's Everyday Fashions updates DAILY. GAH. Can't do that.

Check out my fave blogs when you're done with me!
http://brittanyherself.com/ - No words. She's amazeballs. She makes me feel better about myself and laughing.

http://practicallyfunctional.net/ She's craftier than you, at all times. Everything is affordable. Oh hey, and she's a good friend of mine. CLICK IT.

http://jseverydayfashion.com/ She takes expensive looks and makes them not expensive. And then she'll give coupons and all sorts of fashion based advice. I'm a little addicted.

BACK TO ME!

BRANDON:
Date #2 occured. We went to see Superman with the amazingly sexy Henry Cavill, and that was probably a bad move on my part.
Being more attracted to the guy on the screen than the guy with his hand on your leg?

Plus his hand was sweaty.

Maybe I'm just not used to people touching me. It wasn't bad, but the sweat part was gross. Plus, I'm all woah there buddy. We didn't hold hands last time, and now you bought me a drink and popcorn so my hands are occupied, and you're going for a feel?

My fear- I'm not attracted to him. He gives me a strong Dad-like vibe. And I love my Dad (Papa-Bear!) to bits, but I don't want to date him. That's illegal in like 25 states, and I'm just not down with that shit. We'd be so compatible AS FRIENDS. He asked me out again though, so #whatwhat. No matter how I feel about it, it makes me feel good that someone likes me. Does that make me a terrible person?

Thank you Misha!

Anyway, finishing up the Brandon-related update, post-movie (we had had dinner first) came the scary part. He walked to my car, we made small talk and then he froze. First date he got a hug. This time I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He looked surprised but pleased. Kinda like my dog would when I gave him a treat for being adorable.

*R.I.P. Spooky

Next up:

The Haitian Asshole:

He doesn't get a name and that's how I've been describing him. He practically cat-fished me. Lovely profile, okay in the looks department. We blew straight through the questions, makes or breaks, etc. First email he proposes. 

I reacted much like Jensen. He immediately backtracked by saying he was only trying to find out if I'd marry outside my race and citizenship. I decided to try and segue back into normal shit like, tell me about your job (NADA. FYI, he's 32), where you're from (NYC, but he's Haitian and on a VISA. ) First language? (French, Creole, THEN English). He seemed to get my drift and asked about traveling. (I'm gonna bypass that redflag from lack of citizenship and would I travel), because I like to and I want to more. I told him about my high school exchange program to Germany and how I really want to travel Europe.

I waited a week and I got the following email: "I guess you don't seem interested in continuing the conversation. FYI your (GRAMMAR POLICE) the first person to ask me if I have a job. I think that's a STUPID QUESTION (Ummm YOU STILL DON'T HAVE ONE). I hope you find your Mr. Right with some better material.

Side note- Is asking for employment uncouth? Can't judge a book by it's cover and a guy by his face, car, or job? 

BUT I AM HAVING A WEEK. Shit has just been going wrong, so my initial reaction was GO TO HELL ASSFACE. YOU'RE AN UNEMPLOYED SHITHEAD WHOSE PROFILE IS FULL OF LIES, PERSONALITY IS FULL OF RED FLAGS, AND I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE OR TWO OF YOUR MATCHES IN CAGES IN YOUR BROOKLYN APARTMENT.

Something kinda like this

I *went* with "That's incredibly of rude of you, since I had sent the last message. Good luck finding Mrs. Right with that attitude of yours and you'll be lonely a lot longer." And then I immediately blocked the match.

#BAM

Okay! Tell me your thoughts people. Comments? Like the blog? Hate the blog? Suggestions?